fell out of bed, butterfly bandage but don't worry

you'll never remember, your head is far too blurry.


pretty chilled day today, my first friday in school for a while.
nothing has changed feelings wise since yesterday. i still miss him.
the reason i keep putting his name in italics is because he isn't the obvious person. nobody knows i like or liked him, one or two people maybe...but not many.
it's amazing how one second can change your emotions so drasticly.
i'm gunna have to pluck up the courage to talk to him.
not tell him how i feel, just general conversation.
atleast that will be a start.

thats if he actually even wants to talk to me. :/

ANYWAY!

tomorow my children, tomorow (L)
staying at Grace's house :)
but her present hasn't come intime yet ;O
so i am literally praying that it comes in time for tomorow
if not, she already knows she will have it by next week :)

right now i am sitting on my bed drinking juice out of the carton and eating special k.
oh its brilliant :D
tomorow me, Grace, Tara, and Ash and others are getting wasted
and then me, Grace and Lauren are supposed to be having more alcohol at Grace's afterwards :)
should be a very good day.


right now i'm trying to persuade my mother to lend me £10 till next weekend so i can get this dress....

but i'm not quite sure whether to get it in red or not....i think i like the blue better.

i like these two dresses aswell


i really need to find a different way of getting money. right now i am saving up my lunch money everyday. gah.



i just want to fall in love.

i miss him

but not him.
i saw him today...
for the first time in...ages.
not clearly, but i saw him,
and i miss him.
and it didn't hit me until i saw him.
but we don't talk anymore.
this is all so confusing, considering my blog from yesterday.
now i'm obsessed with hanging around with those people
just so i have the slightest chance of seeing him.

i've just dug myself a grave.
and i won't be out of it until i talk to him.

it's not right.

i miss you.....again.

i have a real bad tendency to mess things up.
but not just once. no.
over and over and over and over again.
this time i think it's too late.
i should have thought it through more.
i should have spent more time with him.
i just should have not done anything.

should of, would of, could of
didn't.

i'm not really sure where to go from here. it's happened too many times
and i don't know if i can get another chance to prove myself, and i dont know if i can move on.
not fully move on anyway.
i honestly think i've just missed my chance at love.
or maybe not.
i don't know...the only thing i do know is that i am only a fourteen year old girl.
and there is only so much i can take.
maybe something good will come this summer...
i hope so.
but right now, all i want is him.

i'm sorry.

"i've seen love die way too many times
when it deserved to be alive"

onto more possitive things, i ordered Grace's birthday present today :)
i'm not going to not say her name because she already knows, and i already know that she is reading this.
*waves*
hi Grace ;D

saturday is going to be amazingly good!

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet
- Fall Out Boy

Mr. Sandman showing his beam
When he walks into the room the walls lean in to listen
Surf out, blank waves, click back and forth
Like old headlights, sniffing bottled glue again

Head like a steel trap, wish I didn't, I didn't
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't,
I don't just want to be a footnote
In someone else's happiness

And does your husband know the way
That the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way, does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?

I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

The last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

Tempest in a teacup, get unique
Peroxide Princess shine like shark teeth
It's a sign
(It's a sign)
It's a sign
(It's a sign)
It's a sign, what if you peaked early?

And does your husband know the way
That the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way, does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?

Does he, does he know the way to worship our love?
And does your husband know the way
That the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?

But I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

The last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

Does your husband know? Does your husband know?
Does your husband know?
Does he know? Does he know? Does he know?

But I will never end up like him
Behind my back I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

Oh, the last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling, I know what you're going through


i love that song so much, go listen to it kids, now.
i hope i feel better by the weekend, i probably will.
ah and i need to buy more special k.
but all i can say now is that,
if you ever get given a chance with love, take it.
you will regret it.
i have, i will, and i do.

i need to stop posting depressive blogs. aha.

lovely day

haven't had one like that with my school friends for a while. It's good to know i have people i can trust and have fun with :)
really tired though
my feet feel like they may just drop off D:
started the special k diet today, it's actually quite easy
it tastes lovely too.
although i bet that in a few days time i will be dying and end up giving in.
i'll find motivation to keep me going.
bikini, sun, tan, fun, booyah!

they are all actually really great people. except the one. she needs to get a grip right now.
i miss paris, if i had the chance i would more than deffinitley do it again. everything was perfect
even the getting up at 3am to go to school to catch a coach and ride on it for 12 hours all hot and cramped. there were so many memories made in paris <33


other things going on..

-making a curry in school tomorow, great, i will stink.
-trying to order a birthday present, but very worried it might not come in time
-in need of a nice new dress
saturday her i come.

"that thing in your chest 'aint beating,baby; it's counting down"
-Pete Wentz

that quote is so true. it makes me realize how much i am taking for granted in life.
serious change is going to have to happen.

I Want It So Bad I'd Shoot The Sunshine Into My Veins

do you remember when you were a child?
and the only thing you actually really cared about was playing out with your friends etc.
I miss that, life was alot simpler then; when we didn't have to worry about so many minor things. If i had the chance i would go back to my childhood just to go through the memories all over again.

i was talking to my mum earlier and she dropped this massive bombshell on me.
i'm going to Korfu in Greece in may next year.

SCORE

so that means that i am going to have to proper hardcore diet and excercise now
because i am not wearing a bikini with the way i look right now.
My gosh i will get a tan.
bring on the special K & apple diet.




i love love love love love this picture. Paris, i miss you :'(

now this brings back memories

ah, good old Fall Out Boy.
And i mean Take This To Your Grave
and Evening Out With Your Girlfriend
i wish they did small shows everynow and again :/
like in little clubs and places like Wrexham Central Station
that'd be brilliant :)
i just got purely put off last time i went to see them in an arena because i got crushed and i collapsed D:
brilliant experience though :)
i'd do it again every day of the week, the whole queing for 10 hours in freezing cold and meeting randomers :D

tomorow really best had be good!
ive not had a good day in chester since this day:

thats Grace, Me, Lauren and Tara :)
really amazing girls.
I've known Tara all my life,
but i've not know Grace and Lauren long
but i'm glad i met them :) <333




alright so i found this picture on my computer before,
i'm not really sure how i'm supposed to react.

this would be so appropriate if it was christmas time!
nice pants Rob ;)




i can't wait for Skins to start again
Thursday nights used to be my favourite night of the week.
i love Naomi and Emily (Naomily)
i actually cried when they went for that bikeride in episode 6
it was so beautiful :)
i can't wait for the new series, i hope not too much has changed.

yay Naomily!


i love christmas, i love snow, i love summer, and i love sun.
today i love summer.
xoxo

I Never Really Know What To Say At The Best Of Times

i'm one of those people who prefer someone else to start off conversations. i feel awkward at the best of times, and at times like that i wish i could have a massive cup of tea...just like this one.




lately i've been watching that 'Coach Trip' on Channel 4.
what a pile of....actually quite entertaining t.v
i'm glad those two really bitchy girls went today!
they were making me angry.

i guess i'm watching alot of crappy daytime t.v lately because i'm praying something decent will hit the screens soon. seriously.

NEW MOON HURRY THE HELL UP!

please :D