big mouth strikes again

i like sitting in my bedroom looking out my window at the rain.
it makes me feel safe for some reason, and it makes me wonder.
i don't know what about, but it just does.
it looks nice, and the sky looks so much cleaner after a big thunder storm.
thats what i like best.
the pureness of it, it's beautiful.

i'd like to be in this picture, i'd like to know what the girl was thinking at the time, how she was feeling.
i'd like to know what was going on behind the lense, who was taking it, when was it, what time, what day?
pictures hold so many stories, sometimes you just have to make up your own.


this world is so full of hatred.
but what gets me most is fakeness.
fake people, fake dreams, fake words, fake love.


we all do it, we've all done it.
we say we love someone, without actually meaning it.
sometimes we just see it as a word, but in reality its a word with a very strong meaning.
i don't know what the meaning is just yet, because i have never experienced true love.
i want to, yeah. and i know i will one day but all i am saying is that the word gets thrown around too much.

i know a boy, i'm not going to say his name but he has had multiple girlfriends. with every girl he has said he was in love with them, then met someone new and broke up with this he was supposedly in love with. he has done this so many times i have lost count, but it's fine for him
he doesn't have to lose sleep over it like us females do. he just repeats the cycle over and over again, without noticing the pain he is causing.
being told your loved, then having it ripped away hurts.
that is why i decided to not say it unless i truly believed it.
since then i have not said the word love without meaning it.
i don't mean saying "oh i love this top, i love this song"
i mean saying i love a person.
i love alot of people, all my friends. i am so greatful to every single one of them, they have all contributed towards my happiness.
this time last year my life was the complete opposite.
i'm not going to go into that, it's abit too personal
but i'm so glad i've learnt from my mistakes.
i miss aspects of last year, yeah..but i'm glad some are over and in the past.
i've gone through alot of phases, all of which have made me who i am today.
i am happy with the person i am, finally.

i once got told that if it wasn't for a certain person, i wouldnt like half the stuff i like now.
that is utter crap. because everyone hears about something, a band, checks them out and either likes them or they don't. just because someone liked them before you doesn't mean you are not allowed to like them either.
childish behaviour, from childish people.


i've been discussing the road trip to New York lately.
i have so many images of what i want the apartment to look like, each tiny detail would make it so perfect.